


Lights

by Danny4Ziall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Not AU but some details changed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danny4Ziall/pseuds/Danny4Ziall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Direction have just finished their first world tour and it has taken this long for Niall to realise just how deep his feelings for Zayn are, but loving Zayn is not easy, especially when Niall often doesnt have a clue whats going through his head. Luckily Niall always has his best friend Liam to support him, and Harry and Louis to keep everything fun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where we are

**Author's Note:**

> Tried to be a bit vague in the description as i don't know 100% where this is going, first fic, let me know what you think :-)

He missed him. It was silly really and he knew that but just couldn’t help it, he really missed him.

The American tour ended over a week ago and they all parted ways, while Niall had been out there he had missed his family back in Ireland but now he was back he couldn’t seem to get into it, all he kept thinking about the good times they had all had in America, particularly the times with Zayn of course. It didn’t go unnoticed, so many people had commented that Niall seemed distant, everyone kept asking “are you alright”, “is there some problem with the band”, and a strange amount of “are you getting too stressed, it doesn’t matter what anybody tells you, you need to take it easy”. In the end Niall had to really just force himself to be more engaged just so that they would stop worrying something was wrong, interspersing this tactic with responses of “I’m just tired” and “I have just toured America am I not allowed to be a little frazzled when I get home” seemed to do the trick. The truth was nothing was wrong, there were in fact plenty of things that were right, Niall loved his job, his friends, he was financially well off for someone of his age and almost every day was fun. The perks of being in One Direction were indeed great, but none topped getting to spend almost every day with the sexiest guy known to man, Zayn Malik. They had so much fun in America, the whole band, but it was particularly the bits with Zayn which stuck out in Niall’s mind. Looking back he felt like he had spent the whole tour under Zayn’s spell, when they were on stage Niall would watch him dancing around out of the corner of his eye, mesmerized by every little movement. Zayn totally knew it of course, if he ever caught Niall looking he would give him a little wink or stick his tongue out. It was all very “yeah I’m hot and you love it” kinda stuff but Niall didn’t care, Zayn was hot and Niall definitely did know it and Zayn knew he knew it. Then when they got off stage he used to come bounding towards Niall, usually barely dressed as he was midway though changing out of the last clothes of the night, his breath would be thick and his aroma strong as he was sweating after the exertion’s of the night. He would look at Niall with those gorgeous deep brown eyes and pant something like “you enjoy that”, or “was it good for you too” as if they had just had sex. On some occasions he would accompany this by slapping Niall’s bum or licking his cheek, something which said “you’re mine”. Total tease.

This flirtatious behavior continued whatever they were doing, if they were in an interview or photoshoot Zayn would not miss an opportunity to grab Niall in one place or another, or to whisper something suggestive in his ear, its like he knew exactly when and how to throw him, Niall didn’t mind though it turned him on like crazy. Even in the quieter times they still flirted, if they were watching a movie Zayn would put his arm around him, or spoon him if they were lying down, whether alone or with the group. The band all knew of course, its hard to keep things secret from people who spend so much of their time together. Louis and Harry kinda thought it was funny, always laughing at Niall if he was unable to stop the effect of Zayn’s attention show on his face, or they would make kissing sounds when Zayn and him were talking, to be honest it kinda added to the fun of the moment for Niall, being goaded by his friends, who were certainly no strangers to a bit of physical contact themselves. Often when Zayn was holding Niall during a movie, Harry and Louis would be holding each other, they would even fall asleep hugging in bed which Zayn and Niall very rarely did, Niall did that with Liam much more than with him. Granted that was because often by the time for bed Zayn had found someone to shag, whether it be a fan who he had got the number of or any other number of ways he met people, but also because, for Niall, it all got a bit real by that point, Harry and Louis or him and Liam could sleep together because there was no sexual tension, they knew it was just for comfort, but with Zayn there was a danger. Its not like Niall didn’t want the danger, or what he was in danger of, but Niall knew Zayn was a flirt and loved the attention but he didn’t want to sleep with him, not really, and Niall was usually too scared to push that. It was one thing to know it was all a game to Zayn, but to have the proof ingrained in his memory, Niall didn’t want that.

Niall remembered one night, back in America when he had been brave enough to try a bit and see what happened it was on a rare night when they had ended up in bed together, Zayn was very sleepy and Niall let go of his better judgment and let himself be guilded by what he wanted. When Zayn was tired he wasn’t very flirty and if he didn’t want it, Niall knew somewhere in his clouded brain that he wasn’t going to be able to change the tanned boys mind. Zayn had pushed Niall’s hands a way a few times, rolled over and even moaned an annoyed moan, but Niall was determined. It had only been a few hours since they had been flirting like crazy, Zayn had been grinding on him, even covering Nialls mouth with his and breathing air into his lungs for a laugh, the usual ridiculously flirty tricks which could just about be passed off as “a joke”, Niall naively thought he could get him back to that place. Finally after they blond lad had made another sly attempt to get Zayns attention using his body, Zayn turned to face him and growled “argh just stop it, ok!” Niall felt the playful smile he had been sporting fall from my face straight away. Niall could see from Zayns he regretted his harshness, he put one arm on Niall’s shoulder and his deep brown eyes penetrated the sparking blue ones “I’m sorry ok” he soothed “I’m just tired now and I don’t want to play”. Niall replied unable to hide the hurt in his voice “I don’t want to play either, don’t you like me?” “Of course I like you” Zayn replied with an easy smile on his face, before giving him a quick peck on the lips. “But you don’t want to sleep with me?” Niall quizzed, Zayn stopped for a second obviously trying to choose his words carefully, trying not to make things worse but he was smart enough to know that this had become a difficult situation. “I do fancy you… obviously” he said pointing at his boxers which were shockingly still tented “its just we are friends, I mean I know we flirt but all the guys flirt and you and I are the only ones who are attracted to guys so it has added fun for us…” Niall sensed a but coming “But if we actually went through with it I just think it would be a mistake , I dunno where it would go and I don’t want to take that kind of risk with someone I care about as much as I care about you”. Zayn had done well, said a lot of the right things but in the moment of Niall’s rejection he was sure it was all just a cover for the older lad not fancying him “so even though you flirt with me every day I am the only person you are not actually going to follow through with, and all those people you don’t even know get to have you.” Niall knew It was a pretty stupid point but he didn’t have much else to use and was desperate to turn things around, Zayn just rolled his eyes “look Niall, we have fun, we are two attractive guys, great friends and enjoy flirting as well, that makes me happy, I thought it made you happy too”. It wasn’t a question, it was a ‘conversations over’, if Niall wasn’t able to read it in his tone Zayn turning away from him and going back to sleep was a definitive sign.

Niall waited, frozen, until he knew from his breathing that Zayn was asleep, Niall had intended to get out of the bed and go and see Liam, the only one who he felt he could really confided in when it came to Zayn. He told Liam every thought and feeling, and Liam always listened to him and was never too busy or got bored of my rambling, on top of that he usually had some pretty good advice, even if it was not to take Zayn’s flirting too seriously which he often didn’t want to hear. As Niall lay there frozen he knew what Liam would say now, he would be as nice as possible but realistically say he shouldn’t have pushed the issue, especially when Zayn was tired. Niall still wanted to get out of bed and have Liam tell him its all going to be ok, as he often did, but the more he waited to be sure Zayn had fallen the more he didn’t want to leave, the sound of the brunettes breath soothed Nialls wounds more effectively than his words had and he didn’t want to leave his breath or his warm body. Eventually Niall snuggled down under the covers, turned away from him as if it were some silent victory, unfortunately the unconscious tend not to be too bothered by silent victories. Niall let out a single tear, the first he ever cried for Zayn and fell asleep.

Niall awoke with Zayn in my arms, “damn it” was his first though. But he quickly realized Zayn was very much hugging him back. And when Zayn eventually woke he was so sweet, bringing Niall breakfast in bed and everything. They never talked about that night again but they had the best day in Nialls opinion following that night, Zayn bought him green cap with a clover on it, Niall no idea where he had got it from in the middle of a small town in America but he loved that cap, whenever he looked at it, it reminded me of him and how thoughtful Zayn could be and how underneath it all, Niall knew how much the older boy really did care for him. 

Niall wore the cap on the way back to London, its rim shading his from the sun as he got out of the car in Dublin’s airport car park. He couldn’t wait to get back to London and see the guys, particularly Zayn, but after a week away he had a renewed sense of direction. “Before we next leave London I will make Zayn see we are more than just two attractive guys, great friends who enjoy flirting as well” he thought to himself “I will let him know, really know I love him and I will make him realize he loves me too.” As Niall walked to the terminal with a smile on his face his mum remarked “It’s good to see your happy son”. But of course Niall was happy, he knew what was to come…


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall doesn't get the welcome home he was expecting

Niall got back to the flat really late at night, the flight had been stuck on the tarmac for about 2 hours whilst they tried to deal with some technical issues, then he got held up at the airport in London signing autographs and meeting fans, “that will teach me to get over excited and declare to the world I was heading back to London today” he thought to himself. Its not that he wasn’t happy to meet the fans and everything but in that moment all he really wanted was to get home and see his boys, one in particular.

When he did finally get back to the apartment block Niall scanned for sight of one directional life in the other flats but there was nobody around. To say he was disappointed was an understatement, he had missed them all so much and has just assumed he would come back to…someone, Zayn or no Zayn. In the end Niall finally resigned himself to head to his own flat and heading to bed. Turning the key in the door and lifting his heavy bags seemed too much of an effort but once inside Niall felt all his tiredness and frustration melt away. Jumping up from the sofa with a stupid green party hat and a green party blower in his mouth was Liam, he blew the party blower then with it still between his lips gave the younger lad the me the biggest smile Niall had ever seen on him, Niall laughed in spite of myself and Liam came running over giving him the biggest hug. Niall got lost in his grasp, The brunettes hair right in his face and he couldn’t help but smell it, smells like home he thought to himself. Somehow when they parted all the bags were in Liams hands, Niall looked at him with a fake confused smile at the witchcraft he had just done on the bags, Liam just giggled at the friend he had missed so much.

“Where is everyone” Niall enquired, 

“What? Is a one man welcome home party not enough for you” replied Liam, still smirking. Taking Liams comment more seriously than it was intended Niall defensively but honestly said “no its great, just what I needed, I was just curious I thought I would be the last to arrive back” 

“You are, well nearly” he smirked “ Louis and Harry have gone out, they tried to wait up for you but were itching for a night out in London, and well you are pretty late”.

“and Zayn?” Niall enquired with a little too much obviousness in his voice, 

“Zayn is spending an extra night in Birmingham, some girl something something, you know” Liam said casually, hoping the casual tone would somehow stop the hurt he was expecting to see wash over Niall at the news.

It didn’t work, the disappointment was clearly written all over Niall’s face as he realized he had of course been kidding himself that Zayn would be looking forward to their reunion as much as he had. Liam, reading his expression dropped the bags and pulled him into another hug, it was a bit forceful and half jokey as he swung the other lad side to side putting on a stupid voice “Now come on Nialler, he will be here tomorrow, and I’m here now so cheer up”. It was nice but Niall still felt the need to push him off “I’m fine” he said, straitening his clothes and hair which had been injured in the somewhat comical attempt at sympathy. “I’m really happy to see you, I just wanted to see him too, guess I thought he might be looking forward to seeing me.” 

“Now come on, don’t do that.” Liam replied, still with a bit of humor “You know what hes like, of course hes looking forward to seeing you, he loves you, its just some meaningless shag and in his stupid horny brain that’s gotta come first”. 

As Liam picked up his bags and walked them to his bedroom Niall replied “Yeah I know, shags come first” as if it meant something, Liam just laughed at the dirty meaning of what Niall had said, however the blond remained oblivious, causing Liam to giggle more.

Niall slumped his tired body into the sofa and continued shouting into the other room, unaware Liam had already returned and was right behind him   
“SO WHY DIDN’T…oh sorry” realising his mistake “so why didn’t you go out with the others.” Liam put his arms around his friend from behind the sofa as if he was his wife from the 50’s and Niall had just come back from work, it was weird, even for him “because I wanted to see you, silly”.“Really?” Niall replied quite seriously, still tired from the journey and not quite getting the humour, Liam suddenly straightened up “sure” he said nonchalantly “that and I was too tired for a night out”. 

The two lads spent the rest of the night chatting and watching rubbish on TV, Liam was clearly aware how tired Niall was as he didn’t let him move off the sofa, bringing him food, drink, things he wanted from his bags, nothing was too much trouble. “This I could get used to” Niall thought to himself. To be honest Niall hadn’t thought much about Liam whilst he had been away, he was just so hung up on Zayn it didn’t leave much thought for anything else, but being here with him Niall realized how stupid I had been not to miss his best friend more, he rationalized that it probably came down to the fact Zayn wasn’t always there, but Liam he could rely on even when they were apart, they had grown so close the past two years it felt like the other boy was always with him. This thought alleviated his guilt alittle. Whether he had been in Niall’s head or not, looking at Liams smile made him realize just how much I had missed it, he had just gotten used to not seeing it in the short time away, but now they were back together Niall realised how much that smile brightened up his whole life. He considered telling Liam this as he was being so nice and Niall really wanted him to know I really had missed him, but when he replayed it in my head it sounded way too dorky. He smirked to himself at the thought of saying something like that to his best friend and how it would sound. 

“What?” Liam questioned as he had caught the other lad smiling, 

“Oh nothing, just was thinking” 

“about Zayn?” Liam asked. 

“No, why would you think that.” Niall replied a little shocked

“because you have been talking about him ever since we you got home and every time we hear a sound your eyes shoot to the door as if he is about to jump through and kiss you”. 

Niall couldn’t help but blush at this “I guess I have been taking about him a lot, huh? Its just he has been on my mind so much this last week away, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, I felt like we got a lot closer in America, and then to be pretty cut off… I dunno , I just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about him and me and… I really think something is going to happen soon.” 

Liam instantly lost his breezy expression as concern worked its way across his face“I know how much you want that… but I thought you said Zayn had said he didn’t” Liam replied, clearly choosing his words carefully.

“yeah he did” Niall said defensively “but that was over a month ago and I really think we have grown a lot closer since then, the way he acts around me, I really think he wants me back! I just need to get him to see that”

“Zayn acts that way around everyone, its what makes him so charming, I have no doubt he does want you, but he’s intelligent enough to know once he has had something he wants he doesn’t want it anymore, I don’t think he wants to go through that with you”.

A little insulted by the reality Liam was trying very hard to word his way around Niall replied confidently “It wouldn’t be that way with me, I’m not one of his one night stands he has on a revolving door, Zayn loves me like he loves you and Harry and Louis and he acts like he fancies me too, so if he does all I have to do is get him to put two and two together and bam!”.

Liam kinda smiled at his friends attempt to use maths to solve this one, but it was also a pity smile, he was not convinced by the logic “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Zayns great and he does love you but he’s complicated, you know? he knows when it comes to this stuff he isn’t really capable of the kind of thing you are talking about”. 

Niall took a deep pained breath “I know” he replied defeated. He was too tired to argue and Liam had make a lot of good points, he resigned himself to dropping it with Liam for now, he could be right but Niall knew it could be so perfect with Zayn, it was worth the risk, besides Liam will have to agree once he and Zayn prove it.

After they finished talking about the ‘Z’ subject the awkwardness was totally gone as if it had never happened, they settled back into rubbish TV and lying on the sofa together, Liams final surprise of the evening was that he had brought some Nandos sauce from the supermarket, something Niall didn’t even know existed, and had made them a home cooked Nandos dinner. By this point it was well gone midnight but the older lad knew mealtimes had no meaning for Niall, it was a bit late for Liam to eat as he explained, “internal body clock” blah blah, “linked to the sun and the bodys digestive system” blah blah. Niall didn’t know if he would have understood if he had listened properly but he had nandos in front of him so it wasn’t the best time for a lecture on best times of the day to eat. Niall couldn’t say it was as good as a real Nandos but the fact his best friend had put the effort into making his favorite takeaway as a home cooked dinner was amazing. As soon as Niall had finished he stopped Liam from whatever he was talking about by flinging his arms around him so hard I knocked the wind out of him “thanks Li, tonight has been amazing, the perfect welcome home, bar Zayn of course, that is unless you want to bring him out as your next surprise”. He waited for a laugh from his friend or some response but none came so he just pulled Liam onto the sofa and absent mindedly stroked his back as Niall fell asleep.

Niall woke up to Liams face right in front of his, unaware of where he was or how long it had been. Liam was talking at him, something about sleeping on the sofa being bad for his neck, Niall was way too disorientated to get much beyond the jist of his explanation. He took the hand Liam offered out and was pulled off the sofa and led into his bedroom, Liam managed to step over the debree of stuff on the floor as Niall trod on every one. 

Liam sat him down on the bed and look off his shoes and socks, then told Niall to undo his trousers so he could pull them off. Niall couldn’t believe how asleep he was, it was like he was on drugs and trying to undo all the buttons on his jeans was well beyond him, Liam giggled at his attempt but wouldn’t help until Niall looked at him with begging puppy eyes and managed to form a “please” even though it felt weird to talk. He couldn’t help but notice Liam hesitate but eventually he rolled his eyes and went for the buttons, Niall instantly fell backwards on the bed and lay there like a log as he felt his friend tug at his trousers. Through his daze he heard Liam moan “you couldn’t be any less helpful at this” as he yanked at the trousers. Once they were off Liam pulled at Niall until he was facing the right way on the bed, Niall put his arms up and stared at him indicating he needed his t-shirt off too, Liam groaned a “seriously?” like he was asking him to climb a mountain. Niall simply nodded as a response. The brunette then set about pulling his friends t-shirt off, it was quite successful until he somehow managing to accidently bang Niall’s head on the headboard as the t shirt was finally removed. Quick as a flash he held Niall’s head in his hands with a concerned look on his face as if he had just fallen out a window or something “oh my god, are you ok, are you ok”. Niall just nodded, thinking how ridiculous the concern was, he didn’t even feel it. 

After much concerned check of his head and worrying Liam finally wrapped the covers around Niall and let me rest, the younger lad felt a kiss on his forehead and a heard a good night as he stepped towards the door, Niall jerked up and grabbed his arm, pulling him to the bed. Liam looked down at him

“I need to go to bed”

“stay here“, Niall replied

“Nah, I should go, I want to sleep in my own bed”

“noooo, stay” he moaned

“but…”

“I need you to stay and check I don’t fall into a coma, you know after you hit me on the head”

“how would I possibly be able to tell the difference between you sleeping and you in a coma, you sleep so deep nothing can wake you up either way”

Confused by Liam’s awake person logic Niall just pulled him closer and replied “shhhhhhh”

It seemed to do the trick, Liam huffed and got in the bed next, Niall pulled his arms around him and fell deep asleep.


	3. Five Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter gets a bit more into Liam's head and introduces Louis and Harry in a bit more detail.

Liam woke up with Niall in his arms, still half asleep he pulled him in really tight, trying to get as much of their body to be touching as possible, Niall was lying facing away from Liam but the warmth of his skin on the older lads was the best feeling Liam had ever felt. He felt Niall sleepily push back against his body, pushing his bum right into Liam’s crotch, the thought of only the thin material of their boxers separating such intimate areas got the brunette very excited.

Suddenly like a switch in Liam’s head he became himself again, and realizing he was getting hard with his best friends bum pushed into his crotch was a very scary place to find himself. Liam instantly pushed himself away from Niall’s body, and felt the coldness of the air between them contrast against the heat that was there before. He looked at Niall’s pale back and white boxers as the younger lad was subconsciously pushing him bum out trying to find the body that he been there before, the memories of the first couple of minutes of being awake before his brain had fully kicked in filled washed through Liam’s mind. He thought how funny his face would have looked if anyone had been there as he let all the emotions he was feeling come to the surface, happiness to have been so close to Niall, turned on by how close they really were, horror at what he was doing, sadness about the whole situation, confusion… a lot of confusion, this list went on. A horrific thought suddenly hit Liam, ‘what if Niall had woken up to the feeling of me pushing myself against him’, Liam moved to look over his friends shoulder at his face, it was clear the lights were not on and nobody’s home, Liam let out an audible “phew” at this realization. The fact a completely unconscious Niall was pushing his bum against Liams crotch was no surprise, whenever they slept in the same bed he would often wake up to some very inappropriate bodily contact, the thing that worried him was he normally just smirked and moved Niall’s hand off whatever he was grabbing, or pushed him off altogether, but this time, getting involved, when he knew the other lad was neither interested in him or aware of what he was doing, it was too depressing and weird to think about.

Liam had always tried to keep it from Niall that he was a bit of a nocturnal molester, he knew it would horrify him to know, unfortunately for Niall Louis saw humour where he saw horror. One night, a few months ago, just before they went off to America, Harry had to go back home and therefore was not around to hug Louis to sleep or whatever they do in bed together, practically every night. Towards the end of the evening and after another tyrade of moaning by Louis, Niall, half motivated by a genuine care for Louis feelings and half being completey fed up of listening him complain about missing Harry grabbed Louis by the arm and dragged him towards his bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, the confusion clear on his face, 

“There is only so many times we can all listen to you moan about going to bed alone with out your “Hazza Bear”, which by the way is a nickname that just gets more disturbing the more you hear it. Im keeping you company tonight, but three conditions, 1, no moaning 2 no talking about Harry and 3 no funny stuff”

Louis rolled his eyes “You know me and Harry don’t do ‘funny stuff’

“That’s breaking rule number 2” replied Niall factually, before pulling Louis off to bed whilst Zayn and Liam shared smirks (Zayn having to look up from his phone as he was clearly in the process of organising the nights conquest as this was going on).

The following morning Niall, Zayn and Liam were sitting eating breakfast Liam’s my flat when Louis barged in shouting with a massive smile on his face “Niall James Horan, you massive SLUT…” They all stopped eating at this, shocked by having the peace disturbed by one of the least likely statements coming out of one of their best friends’ mouth about another. Niall froze with a spoon of cereal en route to his mouth. 

“Wha..” he began as Louis cut him off

“WHAT. THE. HELL. WAS THAT, LAST NIGHT!” be boomed

“What?” Niall managed to get the word out this time

“You… straddling me last night, with one hand on my crotch and licking my neck going “ooh Zayn you like that”

Niall went so red he was practically beetroot, he quickly looked at Zayn, who was just smirking, then shot eyes at Louis trying to work out if he was kidding and then at Liam clearly hoping he had the power to erase this moment from existence

“I…I…I didn’t” Niall stuttered

“OK well you didn’t actually say the Zayn bit, but I could see it in your eyes. Those sluttly slutty eyes” Louis retorted before pretending to break down crying “you could see I was vunerable so you lured me into bed and then just… just.. Attacked me”

Perhaps there was some relief somewhere inside Niall that he hadn’t actually mentioned Zayn but the horror of the moment was so much his facial expression did not change (nor his redness). As he sat frozen trying to disappear, Louis sat down, still eyeing Niall and smirking “gotta say, cant believe you had it in you, never saw you as such a take charge kinda guy…you know, in the bedroom” Louis said, clearly loving the situation, Zayn snorted, Niall remained frozen, Liam felt the smallest smirk spread across his face, but it was tempered by feeling sorry for Niall and he quickly regained his control. Adding insult to injury Louis grabbed Niall’s plate of cereal and began eating it himself with a spoon Zayn had handed him off the side. Niall seemed unaware his food had been stolen, a sign of how truly horrified he really was.

“I don’t believe you” Niall offered weakly

Louis opened his mouth to retort but it was Zayn who got there first

“Nah its true, you do that, you have felt me up loads of times, I thought you were just trying it on but I mentioned it to Harry and you have done it to him too”

At this Niall let his spoon drop to the table and went even redder, if he was attempting to disappear he must have some chameleon blood in him as he was starting to blend in with the purple curtains behind him. As Liam watched Niall he could hear Louis put on a fake insulted voice “My Hazza Bear let this.. THIS horny Leprechaun molest him and didn’t tell me, how could he” faking some sort of fainting swoon, thing. 

Liam turned to Louis, perhaps with more harshness in his tone than he had intended “he probably knew you would embarrass the poor guy”,

“Why would he think that?” Louis asked, seemingly completely oblivious to the point Liam was trying to make or the harsher than intended tone

Liam opened my mouth to begin an explanation of his point, but it was Niall who spoke, and Liam was surprised to find he was talking to him, “this isn’t true is it, Liam, they are pulling my leg, right?”

He looked at the blond lad, whose eyes were just massive blue orbs filled with sadness, humiliation and a hint of hope. Clearly this was his last straw to retain his dignity, the slim possibility that this was all an orchestrated joke by Louis and Zayn, something he knew Liam would never go along with. 

All eyes were on Liam, and all he could think was “I’m buggered” he couldn’t lie, the others would call me on it straight away as they knew if he had done it to the other three he must have done it to Liam, but if he told him the truth it would extinguish the little glint of hope in Niall’s eyes, leaving only humiliation, which when they were looking right into Liam’s eyes, was almost incomprehensible. He paused for what seemed like an eternity before spluttering out some words that were not particularly attached to his brain, something which had a tendency to turn off when Niall was looking at him intently.

“Well, erm, I suppose every once in a while you have got a little…erm…handsey”

The room broke out with the uncontrollable laughter of Zayn and Louis who clearly thought Niall’s total humiliation was nothing short of brilliant

“Soo Pappa Payn’s been getting a bit of Nialler action too, hahaha, why didn’t you say so?” Zayn hollered through his laughter

“Yeah why didn’t you say something?” Louis questioned, genuine suspicion in his voice.

“I..I..just didn’t want to embarrass him, Louis, a sentiment you clearly don’t share” Liam offered

“So you just let him grab you EVERY night” Louis probed further, Zayns laughter in the background

“It wasn’t EVERY night” he snapped back (wondering how it became him under fire) before turning to Niall and quietly whispering “it really wasn’t”. By this point he seemed to have gone past being able to process the outside world, at any rate he did not acknowledge Liam’s attempt to comfort him. Liam turned back to Louis “it was only sometimes and I would just slap his hand away and that would be the end of it, no big deal”. Zayn was in stitches, now rolling about on the floor repeating “slap his hand away” as if it were funny. 

It took Niall a few days to get back to normal after this level of embarrassment, Liam felt so sorry for him and pulled him aside to apologies, over and over for not saying something to him as he now saw perhaps his embarrassment could have been lessened if it hadn’t come as such a shock. Niall clearly didn’t want to be reminded of the situation and would begin to go a little redder around his cheeks at just the mention of it, he would put on a fake smile and just brushed it off saying he understood, Liam felt no better. After a couple of days when Niall realized Louis relentless teasing was not going away he assigned himself to laughing along with the joke even though Liam could still see the twinge of embarrassment underneath, all the joking flared back up again once Harry had returned, as Louis clearly felt Harry needed to be involved in the group ribbing, and it was around that time Niall earned the nickname “The Handsey Bedtime Leprechaun”, it also took him a while before he would sleep in the same bed as anyone else, and it wasn’t before Louis absolutely promised not to take the mick the following morning (making little crosses on his heart with his finger) that Niall would agree to spend the night with Liam again. Niall built a wall of pillows between them “its for your own protection” he insisted, sadly it didn’t work and the older lad still had to pull his friend off him in the middle of the night and rebuild the wall, a secret he keep to myself to this day as he swore the following morning nothing had happened. That morning Louis wasn’t completely able to keep to his promise not to take the mick but it had finally started to sink in with him Niall wasn’t enjoying the situation quite as much as he was and he only made one or two comments. Even towards the end of the tour if Liam spent the night with Niall, Louis would enquire the following morning if Niall got a good grope in or if he had to slap away and nasty Nialler Bugs in the night. By this point Niall was able to take it all in his stride, and Louis had done enough embarrassing things between the night he found out about Niall’s unfortunate sleeping habit and the present day to even the playing field in Niall’s favour.

As memories of Niall and the past flowed through Liam’s early morning brain, he realized he had been staring at his friends back for about 10 minutes whist remaining in the slightly strained 'backing away from my best friend, who I had just been trying to bone' pose (it was not a pose he was familiar or comfortable with). Liam relaxed his body and let himself absent mindly stroke Nialls back and just enjoyed the time with him. Liam didn’t know how long he lay there awake, just thinking about Niall, he knew Niall had moved about quite a bit, laying on his back, on his front, hugging Liam tight, one arm around him, and on it went. His constant fidgeting didn’t bother Liam, he loved lying there looking at him, and every time he moved allowed Liam to appreciate him from a different angle or how his body looked in a different pose. 

This early morning appreciation Liam had subconsciously allowed himself to take part in as if time stood still was interrupted when Niall, went from completely asleep to fully awake in a nano second, something very rare for Niall. His eyes just opened staring blankly at the celling, at first Liam thought he had been caught admiring Niall in a way that didn’t fit with Niall’s perception of his feelings for him, Liam’s mind raced through an awkward conversation regarding why he was watching him sleep, but nothing came to him. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed, by this stage Liam was quite able to admit to himself, his strong feelings for Niall went well beyond that he felt for any other man, into a territory he had only ever experienced with women. Before he met Niall he considered himself 100 percent straight, going from that to accepting you are attracted to a man, your best friend no less isn’t without its difficulties, On top of that Liam had to come to terms with the role he was playing in Nialls life, they were best friends and Niall is completely in love with someone else. If it wasn’t for this fact Liam probably would have told Niall how he felt, not because he would expect anything back, just because he didn’t like the secrecy, and how he felt the gap it created between them, even if Niall had no idea it existed. However being Liam he thought about the situation from every angle and with Niall being head of heels obsessed with Zayn, Liam knew how he was needed, as a friend and a confidant, not wading in trying to get what will make himself happy, he loved Niall too much to be that selfish. 

Fortunately for Liam, Niall had not caught him staring, which Liam found out when Niall broke his stillness with two words “Zayn’s home”, Niall jumped up out of bed and ran to the window as Liam was left wondering the Irishman sensed something like that in his sleep when he wasn’t even able to notice himself trying to feel up his friends in the night. Niall stared out the window and bounced up and down from leg to leg with excitement as he saw the car pull up outside proving his weird intuition, Liam couldn’t help but be memorized as he watched Niall’s bum through the thin cotton as he bounced. As Niall ran out the door ready to head downstairs grabbing nothing but that green Cap with a clover on that he took everywhere Liam through, and not for the first time how screwed he was. It took Liam a few moments to get his body to work and go over to the window to see what was going on. Niall had already made it down and outside and was rushing into Zayn’s arms wearing nothing but the white boxers and the green hat, Zayn had a massive smile on his face, seemingly as happy to see the excited blond as he was. Zayn twirled Niall around with all of Niall’s limbs gripping onto his body, seemingly holding on for dear life, Zayn a mixture of big smiles and chuckling laughter managing to keep his cigarette in his mouth. As Liam watched Zayn put Niall down, grab the cap off his head and put it on his own, pulling a ridiculous pose whilst Niall looked at him with awe and love, a few thoughts crossed Liam’s mind. He thought about what must have been going through the taxi driver’s mind who watched this weird scene with an amusingly confused expression on his face, he thought about how he hoped no paparazzi were around to see this extreme display of affection, even by One Direction's standards. But his last thoughts were of the two boys he watched hug again and how hard he would have to work not to resent the tanned boy for all he had so easily but wouldn’t claim for his own and how from even at this distance Niall’s bum still looked great in those damned boxers. The final thought Liam had before tearing himself away from the window was so strong it made it to his lips “yup, I’m definitely screwed”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the story line will start moving forward a bit more, i just wanted to introduce where the characters are and their relationships first. Please let me know what you think so far.


	4. Well That Was Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Niall bump into Liam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just a half chapter, 
> 
> More to come though :-)

For Niall it has been the most incredible few days, he and Zayn had done everything together ever since Zayn had arrived back home. They were still technically on holiday after the tour and weren’t due to start working again for a little while. Normally during any kid of break Zayn was very aloof, Niall would have said they were like two ships crossing in the night, except Niall was always there, so this seemed a generous interruption of the situation. It’s not like Zayn hadn’t wanted to hang out with the other boys, it’s just they all spent so much time together when they actually had an opportunity to do other things he would explore that to the fullest before stepping back into his life with the other boys. This time however he and Niall had barely left each other’s side. It all started the moment Zayn had swung him around when he had gone back home. Niall could feel their bodies pressed together and how tight Zayn had help him in his arms, all of Niall’s previous fears had been washed away in that moment and he knew the plan he had made back in Ireland to get Zayn to realize his feelings was definitely back on. To be fair it wasn’t some master plan, it was more just that the Irish lad had assigned himself to his situation, no more saying no to hanging out with Zayn one on one, or not sleeping in the same bed to try and protect his feelings, that first tear he had let drop back in godknowswheresville USA was followed by many more between then and now and that was with Niall trying to protect himself. He knew it was time to accept his situation and try and make the best of it.

After their long “I’ve missed you” hug Zayn paid the taxi driver with the bemused look on his face and they went back inside. Niall got a fright when a body appeared coming out of his flat, a body he quickly realized belonged to Liam which was far less scary but having completely forgotten Liam had stayed over last night until that moment it was just a random who had been in his flat at first. Niall’s half shrill scream was met by an amused, but cool look for Zayn (in Niall’s eyes any look from Zayn was whatever…but cool, like he was unshakeable at his core whatever the emotion on his face). Liam greeted Zayn warmly with a hug and straightguy pat on the back as we hug, something out of character for Liam, especially in comparison to the warm body crushing hug Niall receive the previous night, but this fact went right over Niall’s head. They chatted in the hallway for a while, but Liam was in a rush to meet someone so the reunion did not last long. Zayn made a cheeky (but cool) sad guy smile at Liam and wouldn’t let him go until he promised to hang out that night and catch up properly. It was during this conversation that Niall had realized his nakedness for the first time since he had woken up, and that was only due to Zayn laughing at the reaction the breeze from an open window had had on Niall’s nipples, he playfully pinched one of them and commented to Liam about “what a good thermometer our Nialler would make”, Niall just grinned goofily at this, a little high of the contact of Zayn’s hot hand on his exposed body but even in that state he did manage to notice Liam go a little red, and give Niall and awkward look, not quite sure if he should be looking at his face or body. “Aww bless” Niall thought to himself “Liam can act as touchy feely as any of us, but hes still dead awkward when two guys who really fancy each other are flirting”. 

It was a weird distinction, but Niall noticed it in his friends as much as in the media, any of the band could do anything to each other, from flirting to kissing and even dry humping, it all seemed very gay friendly, as long as it wasn’t actually gay that is. If Niall came out as gay or Zayn as bi they would never be allowed to touch the way they did in front of the camera’s. Niall thought about what a weird world it was that he could basically be as gay as he wanted as long as he wasn’t gay, he also noticed how his straight friends in the band equally had no problem being all over each other, as much as he was with Zayn (something which really helped keep him and Zayn from being outed, like hiding in plain sight). They would even be as equally flirty with Zayn and Niall who could conceivably get some extra pleasure out of it, given they were into guys, although Niall was pretty certain they knew both Niall and Zayn saw the other three like brothers and the flirting was as innocent as it was for the straight members of the band. What Niall had come to notice was how when he and Zayn flirted the other band members were noticeably slightly uncomfortable, like because they flirted with intent rather than humor it was actually gay not pretend gay and suddenly the atmosphere had changed…there was actual gay in the room! Harry didn’t react this way, a little too interested in his own life to be bothered by Zayn and Niall’s drama, something which Niall couldn’t help but love him a little more for, but Liam and Louis definitely became visibly less comfortable by Zayn and Niall’s displays of affection. Letting this thought ramble across his mind made Niall suddenly feel very sad, he could deal with the hypocrisy in the media and even in the culture of some of the fans but not in his own band, he knew it wasn’t Louis and Liam’s fault, they were just a product of the weird society they were all brought up in but it couldn’t help but make Niall feel a little more alone in that moment. He subconsciously leaned in to Zayn’s touch, glad to be next to someone who understands him so fully, at this moment Liam looked at his watch and stated he really really had to go, darting off before another word could be said. “Damn” Niall thought at Liam proving what he had just been thinking.

Niall went in to his room to go and get changed, “what are you doing” came Zayn’s voice from the doorway, “getting some clothes on, its bloody freezing” replied Niall, pointing at his still erect nipples and laughing. Zayn had a mischievous glint in his eye “don’t you dare” he replied before flinging himself and Niall causing them to both crash onto Niall’s bed and the pair of trousers Niall had been trying to put on fling off in the other direction. Zayn held Niall tight, arms curving around his naked torso, and they just lay together for a while. Zayn didn’t bother to take off any of his clothes or even the rucksack he still had strapped to his back, he just held Niall like he was his favorite teddy bear tight and fell into an easy sleep. Niall who had only just woken up couldn’t get back to sleep but just lay there, still feeling Zayn’s breath on the back of his ear and his chest rise and fall against Niall’s back. Even though Niall had no covers over him and only Zayn’s arms for protection he couldn’t help but notice he didn’t feel cold anymore.


	5. Daydreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daydreamer  
> Sitting on the seat, soaking up the sun  
> He is a real lover  
> Of making up the past and feeling up his girl  
> Like he's never felt her figure before

Niall and Zayn had spent the majority of Zayn’s first day back in bed together, it wasn’t like one big sleep, more like a collection of mini naps. Niall had probably only slept for a few of them, but he was so happy in Zayn’s arms he didn’t really notice the difference between awake and asleep. Zayn on the other hand had clearly completely knackered himself out when he had been back to Bradford, Niall assumed he had partied a lot but didn’t want to think about it too much. In that moment the only Zayn that existed was the one which was in Niall’s bed with him, just considering the other Zayn which partied and hooked up with strangers hurt him. Zayn occasionally woke up with a deep intake of breath, looked at Niall with surprise and confusion before realizing who he was looking at and clumsily stroking his face before going back to the land of nod. They also occasionally got up to eat some food almost in silence before Zayn would grab Niall’s hand and lead him back to bed, for Niall the entire day was like a haze-dream and although sex would have been great and cemented the bond Niall felt between them it didn’t really matter they weren’t having it, they were both there and so close it felt like they had spent the whole day making love, just without any of the sex.

Zayn eventually woke up about 7pm sleepily commenting how beat he must have been, Niall simply nodded. “Man I need a shower” Zayn announced, wiping the sleep from his eyes before eyeing up Niall and taking a fake sniff of him “and so do you”. Niall laughed at the flirty insult “hmm, ever the charmer Zayn”, his friend simply smiled lazily at this “yeah well you go first” Niall continued “and I will have one when you have finished, then we can do whatever”. Zayn got up and yawned, stretching right in front of Niall’s face, who eyed his torso without any shyness (by this point Zayn was only in a pair of black boxers, taking off one piece of clothing between every nap throughout the day, like the longest weirdest strip tease in history). As Zayn walked towards the bedroom door he grabbed the side of the boxers he was wearing, let his thumbs slip under neither the waistband and pulled them down with one swift tug, he pulled until they were just past his thighs then let go and straightened back up, pausing momentarily as they dropped to the ground. This allowed Niall to ogle his arse for quite a few seconds, although from his point of view it lasted for hour, he felt his boxers tighten instantly. As Zayn reached the doorway he looked lazily over his shoulder at Niall “why not come with me, save water and all that…or are you afraid you will see something you might like”, Niall smirked at the comment but felt the flush in his face as well, he wondered what would happen with the blood in his body seemingly traveling in two opposite directions. 

Niall heard Zayn walking off towards the bathroom and the shower turn on, smiling at the idea of taking a shower with Zayn, imagining what’s Zayn’s face would look like if he surprised him and ripped back the shower curtain, stepped in and started spreading soapy water across Zayn’s body, his hands travelling down his back and kneading the globes of his bum before snaking them around to the front and taking Zayn in his hand and biting the back of his ear. Zayn’s voice was suddenly very close, Niall’s brain was back in his body in the bedroom, Zayn was at the doorway, the blond lad had been so caught up in his fantasy he didn’t even notice him come back. “Alright day-dreamer, you coming or what, the water isn’t going to get any warmer” he smirked, Niall just looked shocked, was Zayn serious…taking a shower together, this was definitely new territory for the couple. Zayn clearly got bored or waiting for Niall to react and walked into the room, still very much naked and grabbed Niall’s hand, yanking him off the bed and towards the bathroom. Once in he shut the door and faced a still stunned Niall “come on Nialler, what’s wrong with you” Niall began to splutter, his brain fairly frozen but he was aware he couldn’t get naked although the reason why was just beyond his grasp. “Oh for god sake Niall I don’t care” Zayn stated with fake annoyance, the question of what Zayn didn’t care about broke Niall from his trance, following Zayn’s eyes he realized what he didn’t care about and why his fuzzy brain didn’t want to take his clothes off, he was hard as a rock, but if his brain had been at full power he would have realized that the thin cloth of his boxers wasn’t doing much to hide it, he would have also realized Zayn was naked in front of him, half hard himself and not even a little bothered. Niall watched the older lad turn and open the shower curtain “come on buddy, im not going to pull you in, your either coming or not” before closing the curtain behind him. Niall nodded to nobody before stripping off the last of his clothes and walking in, trying to copy Zayn’s confidence. Once inside the steam made it hard to see, but he could just about make out Zayn’s smile, Niall swore to himself he could see that smile through anything, even if he turned blind one day he reckons Zayn’s smile would be the only thing he would be able to see. Zayn grabbed a bottle of squirty shower gel, the type that fluffed up into a lather upon impact, he shot it across Nial’ls chest then laughed infectiously and loud. The shot of gel which was fast turning to foam had landed right in the center of Niall’s left nipple then streaked across his chest and down, falling off his body just above his right hip. Zayn very deliberately stuck out one of his fingers and made pretend plane sounds as he let it fly through the air and land on the gel on Niall’s nipple. Niall felt himself harden at the touch as he heard Zayn’s giggling taper off, suddenly it was all very serious, the heat, the steam and Zayn’s finger on his exposed nipple. Zayn’s hand travelled down Niall’s body following the line of the foamy gel, Niall could feel himself getting more excited as the hand travelled down his torso, Niall noticed that the other lad wasn’t watching his hand anymore but instead his eyes were securely locked in Niall’s. They watched each other, a passion between them seemingly shone bright and lit up the stray from the steam flowing between them, as Niall’s bore deep into Zayn’s he could see around the periphery the shining particles of steam, like floating glitter around Zayn’s face, if he didn’t know any better he would have sworn it actually made a cartoon love heart shape as the air threw it around the space between them. In that moment all that existed was Zayn and him and the water, he felt Zayns hand continue to travel down his body, so close to it, so close to cementing the bond between them, simultaneously their faces grew closer together, less than an inch apart. “This doesn’t feel real” Niall whispered, seemingly important to mention before their faces crashed into one another, Zayn opened his mouth to whisper back “I feel like I waited for you my whole life”. The words came out like sirens tearing across the world Niall was in, but something wasn’t right. “What?” Niall questioned, the words coming out for real this time, tearing the dream to shreds. He was back in his bedroom, Zayn in front of him wearing one towel around his waist with the other around his shoulder as he rubbed the water from the side of his face with it. “I said” Zayn stated loudly “I feel like I waited for you my whole life”, Niall only glared at him, still waking up from the incredibly real day dream he had just been having “you never joined me for that shower” the serious expression on Zayn’s face fell as he smirked at Niall. The blond could only manage to reply dumbly “where you serious about that?” the only response he received was a wink from his friend before he walked out the room again. 

Niall tried to figure out at what point he had left reality and entered a Zayn filled dream, whilst cursing himself for having sed day dream instead of actually manning up and following Zayn into the bathroom for real, but also wondering if Zayn was serious or not and if that meant the possibility of future showers similar to the one he had created in his head. He heard Zayn shout through from the other room “thought we could catch up with the guys tonight, then tomorrow I thought I could take you to the zoo, I remembered you moaning about wanting me to take you back in LA”. Niall shook his head as a way of trying to break free of his thoughts and concentrate on the reality of a Zayn who wanted to spend the day with him tomorrow doing something that was definitely more a Niall activity and more impressively, he had actually remembered when at the time it seemed he wasn’t the least bit interest in Niall’s Zoo idea. “Sounds great” Niall replied as coolly as possible, however unable to stop the goofy grin from spreading across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, it had to be done... don't hate me


	6. Questions

Niall and Zayn walked into Harry and Louis’ apartment where they had all arranged to hang out as there first night all five of them being back, however they weren't all five of them, someone was missing. “Where’s Liam” Niall asked scanning the room. “Dunno” was all they got from Harry who hadn't even bothered to look up from his phone, he received a sharp kick from Louis which caused him to look up “What?” he asked defensively, looking up and breaking the trance his phone had over him in that moment

"Niall, Zayn, oh my god iv missed you!" Harry blurted out with a burst of emotion unusual for the curly haired lad, whilst tripping over chairs to reach them and pull them into a big two armed hug. By contrast Louis seemed to glide over effortlessly as if he wasn't moving at all, he patiently waited for Harry to let the two bemused boys go before pulling them into an appreciative and warm hug himself. Harry recovered from his emotional outburst fairly quickly, and by the time Niall had been released from Louis grasp he looked over and saw Harry was back in his original spot transfixed by his phone once again. 

"Oh don't mind him" Louis declared pointedly "he's just got all in a twist over some girl", at this Harry whipped his head up from his phone

"Some girl, she is NOT just some girl, i really like this one"

Louis' nonchalant reply of "you really like all of them" only angered Harry further

"Well this ones different, she gets me" he went all soft and gooey eyed at the last bit, Louis just rolled his eyes

"Harry, darling, we have heard this before, but in a few weeks you will realise she doesn't get you, then you find another girl that gets you and you will go all gooey eyed and say "she gets me" before realizing she doesn't get you, and on and on. its a pattern, cant you just be more like Zayn and sleep with one then forget them, then sleep with another one?"

"What, and that's not a pattern?" Harry replied smugly

"Yes, that is a pattern, but its not one which makes me want to rip my own ears off and shove them down your throat so you cant talk and i couldn't hear you even if you did"

This exchange made Niall dizzy, partly due to watching his friends back and forth like a game of tennis, partly at watching Harry go from red to pale 5 times in one conversation and partly for a reason that was still catching up with him. Oh there it was , Zayns sleeping habits, or lack of sleeping habits, something he had been forcing himself to forget was right in front of him and very real. Niall quickly glanced around desperate to find Liam to give him a comforting look or squeeze his shoulder, something to put a plaster over the wound reality had just caused. Niall was surprised to find a hand slip into his own at just the right moment, Liam had come just in time. Niall whipped his head to look at the hand but it wasn't Liam's it was Zayn's. Zayn was there to comfort him because he felt down about Zayn, this was definitely new territory. Niall looked into his friends eyes, desperate to find out what was going on in his head, why was he holding his hand. The eyes told him nothing, but Zayn squeezed his hand and offered him a half smile, Niall didn't know what it meant but he wasnt about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Niall was all ready to get lost in Zayn when something struck across his mind

"So where is he then?", Zayn looked a little surprised, Louis and Harry paused mid argument/chat/weird back and forth kinda flirty thing nobody really gets, and looked at Niall

"Erm, we aren't sure, he text Harry about half an hour ago saying he had stuff to do, but would catch up with us later"

"Like, later tonight" replied Niall hopefully, "or..."

"Dunno, sorry buddy, text him if you want" offered Louis with a smile

"Nah, iv already seen him, i will let him get on with his stuff" Niall offered a little glumly, he had already spent the entire first night back with Liam, and remembered forcing him to sleep in the same bed which means he probably sleep attacked him with his body, he didn't really want to call him out on some alone time already. He was just disappointed as it wasn't really the same with just the four of them, without Liam there, the group dynamic was just a little ... off. Zayn squeezed his hand again and Niall decided to forget it.

They spent the majority of the night catching up getting slowly more and more drunk of the beers they were sipping as they talked. Louis talked a lot about Elenor, whom he spent the majority of his time with whilst back at home. Although they all knew how much he had missed his family whilst he was away and how glad he would have been to see them when he returned home, they were relegated to the background of his stories, only really popping up to set up something funny Elenor had said or when they told Louis what a great girl she was and how happy they were to see him happy. The others nodded along and smirked a little bit, they were really happy to see their friend in love, but that didn't mean they couldn't have a little giggle at what it was doing to him. Harry regaled them with stories from home and things he did with him mum and his sister, although the majority of his time was also spent talking about the woman in his life. They had learned her name was Rosie, she went to university in London studying philosophy and how she was such a great listener and wasn't too annoying, interrupting Harry all the time with stories about herself (not that he was bitter that had happened with a large number of previous girls). When Harry went on to tell them about how they met, eyes meeting across the dance floor at the club last night Niall couldn't help but spit out his beer.

"Last night? the way you've been going on, anyone would think you met her in the maternity ward on the day you were born"

"Hey" replied Harry defensively, "love isn't about how long you have known the person"

"and do you love her" questioned Zayn

"erm, dunno, i haven't really known her long enough to know"

Louis just rolled his eyes at this, before putting on his most theatrical voice "Yes, tis true, our Harold has only met this fair maid mere hours ago and already i am forgotten" he fake swooned

"why do your bits end in you swooning" Zayn questioned, straight faced before winking at Niall

At this Louis straightened up and Harry responded "come on mate, you know i could never forget you," 

"Yeah?" Louis asked coyly

"Yeah, you know it will be you in my bed tonight not anyone else"

Louis looked at his friend with seemingly real joy in his eyes before launching into a hug which pulled Harry off his seat. All Niall could think was how weird his friend are, ignoring their family to talk non stop about girls and then getting more excited than anything else at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed. Niall could honestly say that sometimes he really didn't get straight people.

After Harry and Louis had finished they pressed Zayn and Niall about their weekends, Niall recounted times with his friends and family with enthusiasm, missing out the parts where he had felt lonely without Zayn, it all kind of seemed a bit silly now that Zayn was next to him, still holding his hand under the table. Once he was done all eyes were on Zayn, but he uncharacteristically refused to give out any details, simply responding that he had had a good week, but that was about it. Louis' eyebrow raised as he smelt gossip in the water "Cummon Zayn, you always have the best stories, usually involving copious amounts of naked people and bodily fluids, there was naked people and bodily fluids right?" Zayn simply grinned and made a locking movement with his hands over his lips. Louis looked thoughtful, trying to think of another way in, but was interrupted when an over excited Harry pointed accusingly across the table at Zayn and declared "he's met someone" knocking over his beer, which Louis lazily caught before a drop was spilled. Niall's entire body stiffened instantly at this, his mind racing at the possibility that Zayn had met someone whilst back at home and that could somehow explain his weird behavior. Zayn, sensing the change in Nialls body, rubbed his thumb over Niall's hand calmingly whilst directing his eyes at Louis and Harry, he laughed easily "guys, im not seeing anyone, really".

Louis clearly wasn't letting go "who is it, tell us"

Zayn just laughed some more, shaking his head at their attempts to rattle him

"at least tell us, is it a he or a she"

"or other" Harry joked, receiving a questioning glance from Louis

"Guys, stop, you are way off base here" Zayn replied, either not bothered by the two other lads or playng an extremely convincing bluff.

"AH HA" Louis stood up, now the one pointing at Zayn "so you admit that there is a base a measurable distance from where we are", Zayn simply groaned, putting his head on the table.

To everyone's surprise, including Niall's it was Niall who spoke next, far softer than either of the other lads in there most recent exchange "guys im gonna head home, im tired". Zayn lifted his head up from the table, wearing an expression of worry, "are you ok?" 

"I'm fine" Niall responded, desperately trying to sound fine, he so often in the past had wanted Zayn to notice when he wasn't fine and offer to look after him, but here in this situation, knowing the only reason he wasn't fine was because of some stupid idea that even he didn't believe, that Zayn was seeing someone, he just wanted to go to bed and forget the entire thing, including how silly it was making him act.

Zayn looked into his eyes, searching for answers before dropping his gaze "OK that's cool, i'l come with"

"No, its all good really, you stay, i just want to go to bed"

"Don't be silly, im tired anyway, and we have a big day tomorrow. We are going to the Zoo" he aimed that last bit at Louis and Harry as he stood up and grabbed his coat.

"You" Louis responded, pointing at Zayn "are going to the Zoo?"

"Erm yeah?"

"The type with like fluffy animals and stuff?"

"They don't just have fluffy animals, besides Niall really wants to go, should be fun."

Now it was Louis' turn to give the searching look, clearly trying to work out what was going on with Zayn, something which was really starting to bug Niall too, he wasn't just being nice, something was definitely different. Zayn ignored Louis' look, said his good byes and hustled himself and Niall out of the flat, leaving Niall to simply shout his goodbye over his shoulder.

They quickly found themselves back in Niall's flat and stumbled, slightly drunk, towards the bedroom. Niall was the first in bed being able to simply slip off his sweats and t-shirt, whilst Zayn fumbled with his tight jeans and the bracelets he wore even though they were only visiting their friends. As Niall watched him questions bubbled around his mind: why is he spending so much time with me? why is he being so nice? why hasn't he called anyone for a shag yet? what happened back at home? am i just looking for this all to mean something because i want it to? No answers came and in the end one of the questions bubbled over. 

"What is going on with you?"

Zayn looked a little shocked as he finally yanked off his trousers and crawled into the bed, placing his arms around Niall "not you as well, why does something have to be up?

"it doesn't" Niall replied honestly "but that doesn't mean there isn't anything up, you just seem different"

"is that bad?"

"no, but id like to know why"

Zayn looked thoughtful for a minute "am i really that different?"

Niall really thought about his answer "i guess not" he replied truthfully

Silence followed and Niall allowed himself to lazily stoke Zayn's back, now quiet sleepy and a little drunk he let the last question out of his mouth, one he was scared and excited to ask

"is it because of me?"

The only response was deep breathing which let him know Zayn was asleep, once he heard it he realized it had been going on for long before the question, something he lazily wondered if he secretly knew before asking. Before feeling himself drop off Niall reached across and grabbed his phone, he scrolled down until he found Liams name and wrote him a quick text: 

"Missed you tonight... Things r going ded well with Zayn, i really tink he wants 2 b wit me, going the Zoo 2getha tomorrow, eeek!!. Hang out soon yea? Xx"

Niall knew on some level he had said it to convince himself as much as Liam, but it was true too, he really did think Zayn wanted to be with him, it probably just felt weird because it was all a bit to good to be true. His phone buzzed

"I'm really happy for you. just promise me you will be careful, ok? Xx"

"K Xx" Niall typed back and rolled his eyes, Liam was always looking out for him.


End file.
